I had been warned about the safety issues in Africa but theres just no way to prepare yourself for this when you are used to feeling safe most of the time. I've travelled pretty extensively throughout Europe, Japan and larger cities in the USA so I know what is like to have to keep on eye on your belongings but this was way different. It started as I got off the plane, went through customs (at 11 o'clock at night) and the officer seemed quite alarmed that I was travelling by myself, I explained that I had friends meeting me at the airport. I got my luggage and as I walked out into the airport I had a bit of a panic attack thinking of what I would do if Natalie, Nic and Kristen weren't there to pick me up, I realized I had made no backup plan and was feeling scared and asking myself "why did I decide to this again?, I could be at home in my warm bed with my family" but no I was in the airport in Entebbe feeling terrifed. I walked out of the airport to this massive crowd, all Africans and I couldn't see Nat, Nic or Kristen. The most emotional part of my whole trip was when Natalie walked out of the crowd and gave me a hug, I thought I was going to start crying and not be able to stop, I could feel it in my heart, I got all hot and was just so relieved to see a friendly face :)
We had to stay in a hotel that first night because its not safe to travel that late at night and for the rest of the trip we did everything during daylight hours because its simply not safe to be out at night. I kind of enjoyed this part, it made things very simple and every day we were all home by 7 or 7.30 and were able to just relax and hang out during the evenings.
Dealing with this constant underlying fear was the hardest part of the trip for me, I made sure I meditated every day and did yoga as much as I could which really helpled. Lots of people asked if I would take my kids there and I'm still not sure about the answer to that one, I can deal with no water, power outages, being dirty all the time and always watching what you eat to make sure you dont get a stomach flu but not feeling safe is one thing when you are by yourself but not feeling safe when you have your kids around is even scarier.
All of the houses there have big concrete brick walls around them so they are safe at night so its very evident as you drive around that this is not a safe place.
When we went into Kampala to buy all the textiles training supplies a guy brushed up against me and unzipped my backback which was right close to me, I didn't even realize it but luckily one of the girls we were with was behind me and she saw it, I checked out my bag and he hadn't stolen anything - thank goodness but I was completely rattled, it really freaked me out. I guarded my bag like a hawk for the rest of the day, I also realized I had all the Shanti money to purchase all the goods so I was totally paranoid that it would get stolen, it would be one thing to have my own money stolen but worse to have Shanti money stolen. I told Nat about this when we got home and she told me the thiefs are pretty slick in Kampala she said she has had guys with their hand in her purse and she didn't realize it.
Next day I got the bright idea to ride one of the bikes to the site, Nic pointed me in the right direction and explained where to turn. I should know better, I'm terrible with directions but of course I was like "yeah ok I'll be able to find it." I was going to the site to put together some ideas for the landscaping and also to teach the savings training to the women. Before I left I said to Nat and Kristen "if i'm not there when you get there come and find me!" I got lost, was totally terrified and had this vision of me wandering around the bush at night until someone came to find me. (to hear the rest of this story see my next post - its kind of funny in hindsight)
Another scary encounter I had was in the latrine when the power/water was out for several hours, I waited as long as I could and then I just had to venture out and go, so I used the latrine which had cockroaches the size of snickers bars! It was totally frightening and if someone told me that I would end up doing something like that I would have told them "no freakin way" - oh how things change. Natalie said she was impressed when I came back in ad retold the story and I was able to make a little funny - I said we wouldn't need to hire bodas to get to the site tomorrow we could just ride cockroaches!
My daughter always says "face your fears" even though its really scary experiencing unpleasant things, it does feel good to get on the other side and realize that you can always learn something from these experiences. Realistically there are people and things to be afraid of all over the world not just in Africa and you can either stay home in your warm bed or you can get out and live. At the end of the day there are always more good people than baddies and more than lightness than darkness.
Love,
Wendy
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